I am happy to report that the third Goddess in my series "Goddess, Saints and Real World Heroines" has been completed. Though honestly, she has been showing up repeatedly in recent works so it is no surprise that she has entered the pantheon.
Her name is Kali, which in Sanskrit means "Black" or "Time". She is both a blood thirsty goddess and an ambivalent mother figure of power. She is one of many aspects of the Hindu Goddess of the Divine Feminine, Devi or Shakti. More specifically, both Kali and her sister/mother Durga are an aspect of the Goddess Parvati, and fulfill her role as a warrior goddess or a manifestation of Divine Rage. Kali is the Divine Protector, the Destroyer of Evil Forces, the Mother of the Universe, and bestows liberation.
Something that is overlooked in the powers of the divine feminine is the fierceness of our rage. Kali embodies this completely, and I have felt her dark passion for justice welling up in my own heart in response to some of the ugliness that has been revealed within the corruption of our human society. Continued assaults on women and human rights. Sexual predation by those in power. Neglect and violence done to the Earth.
As women have been waking and rising up recently in response to attacks on ourselves and the Feminine in general, I can see and hear and feel Kali waking up as well - gathering her cloak of the blackness of the void, her eyes sparked with fire and rage, and her blade held high to cut through some major bullshit.
Kali, 11X14 mixed media acrylic Icon Illustration. Pictured: Kali with her necklace of 52 skull beads, representing the letters of the Sanskrit alphabet; her sword and decapitated head, representing cutting through the illusion/delusion of the ego; she is dancing in the cremation grounds because she is the Goddess of the transformation of Death; pictured below her is the God of Fire Agni, who has 7 tongues, including one named Kali; and the Goddess Durga, who called Kali forth from her forehead in a divine rage to kill demons.
Sometimes it is not enough to play nice.
Kali will be available SOON as embellished prints and in amulet form if you feel her call. Sign up for my newsletter to be kept in the loop!
Hildegarde Von Bingen, Saint of Mature Female Creativity
by Karin Bolstad, 2017
Every Goddess, Saint or Heroine has an energy or special message that connects to something within; and just for, US. I refer to this as an "activating force": which is what energies does a Goddess, Heroine, or Saint have for awakening the dormant or blossoming mirror energies within ourselves. We then can use these forces both for personal growth, as well as to make the world a better place! I read in a book once the our purpose in our lives is to "make heaven on Earth" - rather than focusing on how to GET to heaven. Hildegarde's Archetypal "activating force" is that of EMPOWERING THE CREATIVITY OF THE SECOND HALF OF WOMAN'S LIFE.
Hildegard is a strong Icon for:
Hildegarde Von Bingen was a German Benedictine Abbess who was born in 1098 and died at the age of 81 in 1179. She was a writer, composer, philosopher, Christian Mystic, visionary, healer, environmenalist, and political activist - all in a time when all of these things definitely fell out of the realm of what women were supposed to do, or even be ABLE to do.
The Story of Hildegarde
At the tender age of 3, she started receiving visions - what she described at "The Shade of the Living Light". At the age of 8, her parents offered her as an oblate to the Benedictine Monastery of Disibodenberg, and she was placed in the care of a woman named Jutta. Jutta herself was a visionary, and taught Hildegarde the bible, as well as how to play the psaltery (pictured at her feet, below the falling sheets of music). At the age of 14, she and Jutta were "enclosed", or "cloistered" - meaning they inhabited a room or a group of rooms attached to the monastery, separated from the world, to prevent distraction from prayer and the religious life. Anchorites (a title for women who were enclosed) took part in a religious rite of consecration much like that of a funeral rite, because they would be considered "dead" to the world, a type of living saint. You can see this illustrated at the bottom of my Icon Illustration. Hildegarde and Jutta were the core of a growing community of women attached to the male monastery.
Jutta passed away in 1136, and Hildegarde was unanimously voted the next Magistra by her fellow nuns. In 1141, when Hildegarde was 42 years old, she was instructed by God to write down what she saw and heard in her visions. Initially she resisted, but after suffering an illness- which she attributed to her resistance to Gods' request- she started writing the first of three volumes about her mystical experiences. This is illustrated in the bottom left corner of the Hildegarde Icon. The first book, Scivias ("Know the Ways"), took her ten years to complete. Just before she finished Scivias, in 1150, Hildegarde (after resistance from the Abbot of Disibodenberg) took her nuns and founded a new monastery, Rupertsberg, in order to assert her independence. This monastery is illustrated in the top left corner of my Hildegarde Icon Illustration.
Her following books were Liber Vitae Meritorum ("Book of Life's Merits) and Liber Divinum Operum ("Book of Divine Works"), started in 1158 and finished around 1172. She also wrote books about her healing practice, which was based on tinctures, herbs and semi precious stones. Her "healing garden", within which she is pictured with a basket of herbs, is pictured on the left hand panel of the Illustration. She wrote Physica, which was a volume of nine books, about the scientific and medicinal properties of various plants, stones, fish, reptiles and animals. The following book, Causae et Curae, was an explanation of the human body, its connection to the natural world, and causes and cures of common ailments. Hildegarde viewed the human body as a microcosm to the macrocosm of the Universe.
Laced amongst ALL her writings was the term "Viriditas" (Latin for "greeness"), which is one of Hildegarde's guiding images. In her works It has been translated in various ways, such as freshness, vitality, fertility, fecundity, fruitfulness, verdure, or growth. In Scivias, the word viriditas was used as an attribute of the divine nature. Hildegarde uses viriditas as a metaphor for spiritual and physical health, which is visible in the divine word. Discussion and exultation of the natural world is a common theme in Hildegarde's writings, and has been an inspiration to modern day Environmentalists.
"The earth is at the same time mother, She is mother of all that is natural, mother of all that is human. She is mother of all, for contained in her are the seeds of all. The earth of human kind contains all moistness, all verdancy, all germinating power. It is in so many ways fruitful. All creation comes from it. Yet it forms not only the basic raw material for humankind, but also the substance of the incarnation of God's son." -Hildegarde von Bingen
The twining vines that lace the sides of the Hildegarde Icon represent Viriditas, as well as the color of her nuns' habit. Also on the right side of the piece is a vine of Passion Flowers. Passion Flowers were not native to Germany, but I included them because the "Passion" in "passion flower" refers to the passion of Jesus Christ. In the 15th and 16th centuries, Spanish missionaries associated the different flower parts and structures of Passiflora, as symbols of the last days of Jesus and his crucifixion.
Besides her writing career, Hildegarde was an accomplished musician, and composed sixty nine musical compositions with original poetic texts. She also composed the Ordo Virtunum, a liturgical drama about vices and virtues, which is the oldest surviving morality play. She also wrote her own language, called the Lingua Ignota, which was a modified medieval Latin. It is believed she created this language to increase solidarity among her nuns.
Hildegarde also wrote and received an extensive amount of letters, numbering 390, if not more. She corresponded with emperors, kings, queens, popes, archbishops, abbesses, abbots, nuns, monks, and laymen and women. People wrote asking not only her advice but her prophecies of the future. By believing herself to be the voice of God (and others believing that as well), she was able to be forthright in a way that women of her time would never been allowed. She considered herself to be a means of transmitting God's message which often were attacks on corruption in both church and state, and vices of her fellow clergy or of people in power. She often referred to Justice as the "daughter of God". She also took her (Gods') message to the people, conducting four preaching tours throughout Germany, denouncing clerical corruption and calling for reform. In this way she became a powerful figure in the politics, which is extraordinary for a woman in medieval times.
On October 7th, 2012, the feast of the Holy Rosary, the Pope Benedict XVI named her a Doctor of the Church, the fourth woman of 35 saints given that title by the Roman Catholic Church. He called her "perennially relevant" and "an authentic teacher of theology and a profound scholar of natural science and music." Her feast day is September 17th.
On a scroll that she is writing on in the Icon Illustration are the words "Trust Shows the Way" from the full sentence "Trust shows the way, with the passion of heavenly yearning, we all produce rich fruit."
Hildegard calls on us to trust the flowering of our creative selves as the divine source that it is, in all chapters of our lives, for there is no part of a woman's life that is not creative.
Voice of the Living Light: Hildegard of Bingen and her World by Barbara Newman. University of California Press; 1998.
Hildegard of Bingen: A Saint for Our Times by Mathew Fox. Namaste Publishing, 2012
Psyche, The Goddess of Feminine Spiritual Growth
by Karin Bolstad 2016
Every Goddess, Saint or Heroine has an energy or special message that connects to something within; and just for, US. I refer to this as an "activating force": which is what energies does a Goddess, Heroine, or Saint have for awakening the dormant or blossoming mirror energies within ourselves. We then can use these forces both for personal growth, as well as to make the world a better place! I read in a book once the our purpose in our lives is to "make heaven on Earth" - rather than focusing on how to GET to heaven. Use the Archetypal "activating force" of the Greek Goddess Psyche for FEMININE SPIRITUAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL GROWTH and TRANSFORMATION from innocent young woman to mature Goddess.
Psyche is a strong Icon for:
The Greek Myth of Psyche and Eros was first written down in 160 AD in "The Golden Ass" by Roman Lucius Apuleius. Variations on the Psyche myth are easily recognizable in (three of my very favorite fairy tales!) "Beauty and the Beast", "The White Bear" and "East of the Sun, West of the Moon". The myth also has similarities to the story of the Egyptian Goddess Isis and the resurrection of Osiris.
The Greek name "Psyche" means "breath of life", "soul" or "spirit". It is represented by the image of the butterfly, hence Psyche is often depicted in art with butterfly wings (see the Blue Morpho butterfly wings I added to the piece? The name morpho, meaning "Change", is also an epithet of Aphrodite - who plays a large role in the myth of Psyche). In Greek, Psyche is spelled "ψυχή". The Latin translation is "Anima", and this term was also used by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung to describe the archetype of the inner feminine personality within a man.
So let's get to the FUN part, the STORY!
The Myth of Psyche and Eros
"Psyche was the third of three daughters to a King and a Queen. She was so lovely that people would travel from miles around to worship her beauty, and consequently the shrines of Goddess Aphrodite were neglected (much to her chagrin). In a fit of pique, Aphrodite sent her son Eros to exact her revenge: he was to cause Psyche to fall in love with the most wretched man he could find. Instead, Eros accidently pricked himself with his own love arrow while gazing apon Psyche, and was smitten.
Aphrodite wasn't the only one concerned about Psyche's power over men: Psyche was miserable, and the King himself was worried about this burgeoning cult, and sought advice from the Oracle of Delphi. Unfortunately the Oracle fortold that she was to marry a serpent, and once you ask the Oracle a question you must accept that fate. So, the bereft King took his daughter to the top of a mountain to await her new husband- and consequently, Death. Instead, Zephyr the West Wind came and took her to a beautiful meadow, where she fell asleep.
When she awoke, she found herself at the doors of a palace, which a voice proclaimed was hers to enjoy. That would be Eros, who did not want Psyche to recognize him, because he was embarrassed that he failed his mother so spectacularily. So Eros came to Psyche only in the night, under the cover of darkness, and soon Psyche was pregnant.
Though Psyche was relatively happy, she missed her family. She asked to see her sisters. Eros was not thrilled with this idea, but allowed it only asking she not tell them about him. The sisters, apon seeing how rich she now was, were jealous: and reminded Psyche that the Oracel of Delphi said she was to marry a serpent. They encouraged her to take a lamp and a knife with her that night to see if her husband was in fact a monster, and if so to kill him.
NOPE. Not a monster, just a pissed off Eros with a lantern oil burn, who then left, blaming Psyche for being too curious and ruining the great thing they had going. Off he went to Mama Aphrodite, to confess and lick his wounds. Psyche was left, heartbroken.
Psyche wanted to give up, even attempted to commit suicide by throwing herself in a river - but was saved by the God Pan, who told her to not give up but to go after Eros. Psyche eventually managed to find her way (or is delivered) to Aphrodites' doorstep in order to try to make amends and woo back her man. Aphrodite thought this was an excellent opportunity to torture Psyche for usurping her worshippers and stealing her son. First she called her handmaidens, Anxiety and Grief, to spend quality time with her. After they had their way, Aphrodite tasked Psyche with four challenges to prove herself worthy of Eros.
The first was to sort a room full of a variety of grain. Psyche wept in despair, but luckily for her an Ant took pity and he and his friends sorted all the grain for her.
The second was to gather fleece from a herd of Golden Rams, which were large strong and dangerous. Again, Psyche wanted to give up and throw herself in a nearby river, but a whispering river reed at the edge of the river gave her instructions on how to proceed. It told her to not attempt to retrieve the fleece directly, but to wait until evening and gather it from the blackthorn trees where it had snagged.
The third was to fetch water with a crystal flask from a waterfall guarded by monsters, that was fed by the River Styx . AGAIN, Psyche contemplated throwing herself in the river. But an eagle sent from none other than Zeus came to her aid, and gathered the water for her.
The fourth was to fetch a magical beauty ointment from Persephone, the Queen of the Underworld. Psyche went straight for the edge of a tower, to throw herself off, figuring that was a way to end these tasks and/or get to the underworld, win-win. The tower itself suggested this was not the best plan, and gave her both directions to the underworld and specific instructions on what to do in order to fetch the ointment. Psyche followed the plan perfectly: except when she emerged from the Underworld she pulled a Pandora and opened the box, wanting to be pretty for her man when they were reunited. Instead of beauty magic, it was super deep sleep magic, and she fell where she stood.
At this point, Eros was tired of his mother, healed from his lantern wound, and missing Psyche. He came to her side, wiped the sleep from her eyes, and took her to Zeus. He asked help in order to officially marry Psyche. Zeus gave her ambrosia, which made her into a Goddess, and they wed. Oh, and they had that baby she had been carrying around, and named her Hedore (Pleasure/Joy)."
So, what in the heck does that mean?
or....The Interpretation of the Myth of Psyche and Eros
Two very important symbols within the beginning of this myth are the lantern and the knife, seen in the central image of Psyche in the artwork. Psyche is placed into a situation where she can continue in an unconscious relationship/situation (with a lover that she cannot see), or take a risk to move forward. The lantern provides the illumination to see her situation clearly. She cannot take conscious actions if she cannot see. The knife is the tool she needs in order to "cut through" the situation, draw a boundary, discriminate, or even "cut off" the relationship. This is the reason she is holding these two tools in the Icon: when we are in a situation that needs changing or ending, we need the light of the lantern and the discrimination of the knife.
The aids and the challenges that Aphrodite tasks with Psyche are teaching symbols for anyone going through a time of transformation or process of growth. In the first task with the grain that needs to be sorted, the seeds themselves are symbols for all of her possibilites: and by sorting them, she is taking stock of her current situation, and putting things in order. The Ant symbolizes instinctual knowledge, determination and team work.... working with a group, asking for help, and taking one step and one "seed" at a time. The ant and the seeds are pictured in the top right corner and down the side of the Icon Illustration.
The second task of gathering the fleece deals with confrontation and timing and masculine power versus feminine power. The rams are competitive, large and strong animals that if Psyche attempted to gather their fleece in the light of day, facing them head on, would have failed the task. She could not compete with the strong fierce rams on their terms (masculine power), on their turf. Sometimes challenges we face cannot be taken head on; we need to have patience to recognize when our energy is going to be most effective and productive. In this case she waited until evening, representing a more "intuitive" time, and did not even gather the fleece directly from the rams. She received this wisdom from a green reed: a plant that roots within the water (unconscious) and yet is visible in the air (consciousness) - the reed is also a communicator (used to make pipes) - hence, Psyche is communicating directly with her unconscious, intuitive self. You can view the reeds and ram at the bottom right of the Icon Illustration.
The third task involves gathering the poisonous water from the waterfall of the River Styx with a crystal flask. The River Styx (Greek meaning "hate" and "detestation") was a river in Greek mythology which formed the boundary between Earth and the Underworld. The River is surrounded by monsters and slippery, deadly slopes. The river, as it cycles over the waterfall and down to the Underworld and back up, is a symbol of the energy of life/death, creativity/destruction, and consciousness/unconsciousness. The crystal goblet Psyche must wield in order to gather some of this primordial liquid is a symbol for her own fragile and transparent ego: the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. When attempting to tap into the forces of creativity, it is too dangerous to get too close or to take it all in. Think of artists who go insane when they spend too much time in their inner world without being grounded in reality. So Psyche, with the aid of the eagle, an animal with a perceptive, keen eye, courage, and an overall view of the situation, narrows in on the goal (one flask of water from the dangerous river) and takes only what she needs. The image of the eagle and the flask are on the bottom left corner of the Icon Illustration.
In the fourth task, it is the tower that comes to her aid. The tower is a symbol for civilization, or the cultural legacy of civilization. Psyche is given instructions based on the wisdom of history, and it is very detailed and comprehensive. She must follow a map to the entrance, and follow very specific rules while within the realm of the Underworld and also in order to get back out. These rules involve what gifts to give and to stay focused on her task and not come to anyone else's aid. This is very important when doing the hard work of becoming self-actualized or changing one's circumstance in a profound way: we must not allow our energy to be dispersed by the needs of others. This does not mean being selfish; rather understanding we have nothing to give if we ourselves do not do the work for ourselves that we need to. Within this final challenge is also the importance of the very destination she goes: the Underworld. Here is our dark night of the soul - the dark night being the realm of the Underworld, and Psyche is the soul. This is the period of our growth where part of us must die in order for the new self to be born. This is also the moment where we may want to give up, and often we must ask for help. Psyche received aid from the wisdom of civilization (the tower) - to me, this symbolizes that part of the human experience is to die and be reborn, and not new to just one individual: so to reference the stories and myths from our history or family story is to gather wisdom to move forward. The image of the tower is on the top left of the Icon Illustration.
Psyche achieves the goal and yet, upon exiting the Underworld, she opens the box that is not meant for her, and falls "unconscious". What does this mean - when she has faced all these challenges to become "conscious" and awaken to ther true self, she still makes a choice that appears to put her back to square one? In my opinion the paths to growth are non-linear, and in fact, never ending. When we reach one level of understanding, it is only one step in a long spiral staircase. Perhaps towards the end of a process it is natural to self sabotage, to fall back into old habits, to want to go back to sleep. Perhaps after going through the first three tasks, the caterpillar self must go into chrysalis form in order to process her lessons, and be reborn. She is awakened by Eros: Love. Love wakes her from her unconscious state. Our soul is awakened by love, and love cannot exist without our soul. And this is the core message of the myth of Psyche and Eros, and the development of our Feminine Spirit/Self.
Psyche Article by Carlos Parada, Greek Mythology Link
Transitions as Liminal and Archetypal Situation, from a lecture by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.
She: Understanding Feminine Psychology by Robert Johnson. Harper Perennial, Revised 1989.
Love and the Soul: Psychological Interpretations of the Eros & Psyche Myth by James Gollnick. Wilfrid Laurier Univ Press 1992.
Psyche's Yearning by Gillian Ross. Trafford Publishing 2010.
As an artist I often have wondered what my role is, and what role art itself plays in the larger world. The day after the Election 2016 I was having drinks with friends, and someone said to me that it was my RESPONSIBILITY as an artist to keep making my work. However, I don't make political art per se, so what positive impact does my work have in the world? Especially because purchasing artwork for most folks is a luxury. How does creating a "luxury item" truly a responsibility worthy of respect and an agent of positive change?
I purchased some artwork recently - a poster of Hillary Clinton. You may or may not be a fan of Hillary, but for me she represents someone who has committed her life to a cause and no matter WHAT has been thrown at her, has PERSISTED (nevertheless!), which is something that I want to personally channel within my own life.
When I bought the image of Hillz it didn't feel like a luxury item. It felt like something necessary. It felt like a visual talisman that I needed to strengthen qualities in myself to be an agent of positive change.
I came to understand that some images have a power to awaken something within us.
That's when I realized that my work did have worth beyond simple luxury.
This is what I believe to be true: We are at a crossroads in human development where the old rules of the patriarchy no longer serve our race or our planet. The Feminine is required to take its rightful place alongside the masculine to heal and move forward for the evolution and salvation of our species and world.
The artwork that I create is to help facilitate that movement. Surrounding oneself with authentic images of the Feminine Divine and Female Power is activating to our inner heroines, to then bring out into the world to make positive changes in the name of Love, Justice and Peace. This "activating force" is the term I use for what energies does a Goddess, Heroine, or Saint have for awakening the dormant or blossoming mirror energies within ourselves.
I am creating a series of Goddesses, Female Saints, and Real World Heroines to fulfill this new focused vision. The first two of the series are the Greek Goddess Psyche (read more about her HERE) and the Christian Saint, Doctor of the Church, and Mystic Hildegard Von Bingen (read more about her HERE).
They are currently available as open edition Giclee Prints (shop HERE) and I have grand visions of other forms these women will take to help you on your journeys, as well as many other goddesses, saints and heroines to add to the series.
P.S. Do you have a Goddess, Female Saint or Heroine who inspires you? Tell me about her in the comments!
Behind my house is an amazing woodlands walk that takes about an hour round trip: perfect for thinking and dreaming and having weird conversations in my head. Today some random thoughts that have been tumbling around separately gelled up into a full blog post, as opposed to a Facebook fragment.
My whole life I have not been very nice to myself. It is in my nature/nurture to avoid confrontation or express anger, so my way to deal with growing up and the trials of that journey was to turn any "bad" feelings onto and into myself. Eventually this coalesced into a general hatred of my body and myself as a woman person, which expressed itself into believing I was fat, unlovable, weak. To battle these demons I dieted, starved, allowed myself to fall into unfortunate relationships, developed a wicked self deprecatory sense of humor.....blah blah blah. Let's just sum up and say I hated on myself, regardless of the loving people and friends around me who did not think badly of me. I had great loving parents who did not make me feel bad about myself, let's just get that out of the way: no blame game here. There were a confluence of details that added up to this but let's not go into a full psych report, it's the usual shite.
The usual shite that is not an uncommon ailment of the feminine psyche these days, unfortunately.
So now that I am officially middle aged (!!!!!), I am happy to report I am MUCH better than I was in my youth. BUT....the hater, she still there, ready to slam me, cut me, shame me. The feeling of not being good enough daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, artist, person, woman (add role here); of judging myself on my weight and appearance; of making fun of myself; bad habits that are a well worn groove in the ole noggin'.
And Lord/Lady, how bored I am with this recording. How tired I am. How sad I am that this has taken up so much airspace in my head for so long. What a waste, all that time and thought energy towards self loathing! What I could have DONE with that energy!
So all we can do, us flawed persons, is continue to start where we are. And start again. And start again. Hopefully every time coming back to a healthier starting place.
So here's my current starting place. Gained some weight over the past year. Not too uncommon. Time for a Cleanse! This is the current trend in "Healthy Land". It's still a diet hidden in a cleanse (clean food GOOD! Unsustainable strictitude.....no worky), which means deprivation. I wasn't depriving myself of necessary nutrients, but there was deprivation of pleasure. And any time I feel deprived, a stubborn part of myself completely sabotages. She stomps in and says, I DESERVE to eat what I want! Don't you tell me what I "should" do! Fuck you! munch munch munch (bag of salty or sweet crunchy things).
Ok. So. Time to get deeper on the analysis about things this time around. WHAT do I want to eat? WHEN do I want to eat? WHY do I want to eat? (WHERE do I want to eat? WHO do I want to eat? hahahhahahhahahah). So now what do I do with this data?
I'll tell you right now: willpower has not been effective.
So let's look at this a leetle differently. Why is any of this....bad?
*Weight gain = hate myself
*Unhealthy eating = bad health/low energy
*Unhealthy eating habits modeling to my daughter
So the only thing that really seems to be important in those three is the last two. Yes, weight gain is "bad" if it is excessive and if you do the whole gain/lose cycle which is hard on your system. But if it's like 10-20 lbs, maybe who gives a fart?
Now recently I’ve been reading some books. And you know what books do: they give you some IDEAS. Dangerous ideas. Ideas that go against the cultural norm kind of ideas.
Here’s what’s penetrated my thick skull:
“Fat” is a word that is associated with weakness, laziness, gluttony, lack of willpower, stupidity, and general worthlessness. It is just about the worst thing you can call a woman in Western Society.
However. This is what I know about the weight I carry: I work as hard (if not harder) when attempting to lose it. And.it.does.not.work. Maybe temporarily, but not for long. My body has set point, and godsdamnit, she is gonna stay there.
I am not weak, lazy, gluttoness, stupid, or worthless.
So. The word “fat”. Maybe I don’t give a shit. Maybe…it doesn’t even look that bad. As an artist, I see beauty EVERYWHERE, including other women of all shapes sizes and ages. There are women I know of who would be considered clinically obese who are absolutely completely heroines of mine, and they are stunning for who they are as a complete package, fat bodies and all. Why can’t I see myself that way?
‘Member how I said I’m super tired of wasting brain energy on how I look? Recently I read a radical essay by Kelly Diels, where she asked - why do I have to hate my body and….(get this!) why do I have to spend time LOVING my body as well? Radical, right?! Her point is, she doesn’t spend time “loving” her mind. She just uses it. Is thankful for it. So how about we take away any directive to do anything about our body that this current patriarchal culture TELLS US TO DO?
Do you need a moment to think about that? I did. Because not only did I swallow whole the message that I was worthless unless I was skinny, but conversely that I was damaged if I didn’t love my body!!! Damned if you do damned if you don’t, right? Sheesh it’s no wonder I am soooooo gooooood and putting myself down, because that sure is the message women are getting NON STOP. It’s RELENTLESS.
I think it’s time for a cultural cock block. I’m done you guys. I don’t want to diet. I don’t want to hate/love my body. You know what I want? A strong body. I want a body that can carry me through the journey of my life, as I raise my daughter, follow my dreams, work hard on my art, play with my friends. I want a healthy body that’s going to give me another 40 years of this glorious life I have. AND I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING because it crossed my brainwashed brain too: if you are overweight, you are unhealthy. Well I’m not going to go into it but there have been some great studies that “overweight” is not really “over” and that is actually healthier than being TOO skinny minny.
So how to eat like a Goddess. What would a Goddess eat? The best damned thing that she wanted. If she wants chocolate cake, she is going to eat the best fucking cake there is. Because she’s a Goddess. She’s going to eat the best fruits/veg/meats/grains/DESSERTS there are. Because she’s a Goddess. And then she’s going to stride around with her big strong Goddess Body and rule stuff, all benevolent and maybe sometimes with some wrath, I don’t know. So THAT’S what I’m modeling on. Not this weird twisted story of woman that we’re being force fed. I’m not eating that shit. A Goddess wouldn’t.